A Lover or a Fighter?: Part One

You know what's awesome? 

Go ahead, guess.

I'll wait. Go ahead.




Okay, that's not what I was thinking of.  So you know what's awesome?  Birth stories!!  Have you ever read one of those suckers?  Bawling like a baby... every time.  Now, I'm not saying this story will have you bawling, or even that most birth stories will have you bawling.  In recent years I tend to be more emotional than a lot of people.  But I do want to record and share my birth story, whether it makes you cry or not.  I am a pretty private person, but this is one of the most important stories of my life.



I've never been a fighter.  I'm a "stand down" kind of girl, not a "stand up" kind.  When  people tell me to do something, I do it.  I comply.  I please.  And, seldom, I get stubborn about a thing.

If you ask Matt, I'm stubborn all the time, about everything.  Mule-headed.  Maybe he says it to make me believe I'm stubborn and then become stubborn.  Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy.  But the truth is, I tend to give up, give in, cry, and walk away far more often than stand up, stand firm, and fight it out.  I've always been this way.

Despite all this, I became determined to have a natural birth--no induction methods, no pain killers, no IV, as little monitoring as possible, no forceps or vaccuum or episiotomy, nothing excessive or unnecessary.  I wanted to face this labor and delivery with no fear, armed with as many natural pain-coping mechanisms as I could.  I read books, I did Kegels, I practiced breathing and relaxation, I exercised, I came up with visualizations, I took classes, and my Matt was there with me through it all, practicing, reading, and coaching right alongside me.  Oddly enough, all these things involve some degree of fighting.  But, I learned all I could about how each aspect of L&D affects mothers and infants, from medications to cord-cutting.  I wanted the absolute best for my child.  We wrote a birth plan months in advance, updating it as we continued learning. 

We were totally ready!

What we weren't ready for was the craziness that often comes when you have a plan that you don't want to deviate from.  Early in the pregnancy, I was sick.  Midway through the pregnancy, I was sicker.  At the end of the pregnancy, the doctor became concerned enough to have me coming in to his office, going to the lab for bloodwork and testing, or checking into the hospital for a few hours at a time.  Every. Day. 

This got old quickly and I began dodging the calls from the doctor's office.  After all, I had things to do.  I had a baby shower to get through.  I had a family birthday party for my brother and stepdad.  I had Stake Conference.  With Neil L. Andersen, for crying out loud!  I didn't have time to keep going to the hospital and coming home without a baby.

Finally, the doctor said, "Today is the day.  We've got to get this baby out of you.  We'll induce you tonight."

New plan: Cytotec administered in four quarter-doses, every three hours over the night.  Artificial rupture of membranes and a helping of pitocin.  Baby delivered the following day, in time for Doc to make his tee time.

Did I mention Cytotec is not approved by the FDA?  The past month-and-a-half I learned that lots of drugs are administered without FDA approval.  Weird, huh?

Anyway, I spent the afternoon with my phone turned off, trying to get a little sleep (I hadn't slept properly for days.  Or was it weeks?) and load up on carbs.

Then, that evening, we headed to the hospital for what we sincerely hoped would be the last time.  We knew that our birth plan was out the window, but I took a pink highlighter and picked out the things that still applied, hoping that our care providers would be willing to help us acheive a few of our remaining goals.

As they had been on our previous visits, the hospital staff were helpful, and friendly, trying to make us as comfortable as possible.  Except for the IV.  And the monitors.  And the cytotec administration.  Not comfy at all.  But effective.

So, we settled in for the long haul, as the Cytotec went right to work.  After only two quarters, the nurse declared that I was progressing enough that we would stop the Cytotec and start the pitocin.  Then, on second thought, the nurse asked if we would prefer to get back on the birth plan now that labor had begun and my body was doing what it was supposed to be doing.

YES!!

Before unhooking me from the monitors, the nurse asked me how I was doing with the contractions.  What contractions?  Several times she asked if I was feeling the strong contractions.  I was not.  I was relaxed and, though not rested, ready to get going and bring this baby into the world.

So, I walked the halls, listened to my calming music, hung out on the birth ball, breathed and relaxed, and when I concentrated on them, I could feel the contractions.  I was able to rest and was almost asleep when the Doc came in at seven that morning. And that was the turning point.


...to be continued.